Many couples want their proposal to be perfect. Unfortunately, only 39% of Americans would give their proposal an “A+.” The top two things people wish they could change were the ring and the place of the proposal.
When a guy proposed to this woman, she wasn’t happy about the place either. The BF chose their friends’ wedding, but the GF thought it wasn’t the time or place. He got hurt after being shut down, but the GF went online to check whether she was being too harsh.
To know more about proper proposal etiquette, We reached out to date planners and proposal experts at The Heart Bandits. They told us why proposing at someone else’s wedding is never a good idea and how a person can recover from an unsuccessful proposal.
We also got in touch with the author of this post, u/Feeling_Camp_8847. She kindly agreed to tell us what helped her stay level-headed in the midst of all this drama. Read our short conversation below!
More info: The Heart Bandits | Instagram | YouTube | Facebook | X | Pinterest
RELATED:A guy proposed to his girlfriend during their friends’ wedding and got rejected
The GF thought it was not the time and place, but asked for unbiased opinions online
The author says that such a big decision like a proposal should be discussed extensively between partners
Many commenters observed how maturely the couple handled this entire incident after. u/Feeling_Camp_8847 isn’t sure where the self-awareness came from, and tells us she didn’t feel very grounded, even if it seemed so reading the story.
“I’ve always just been told that if you’re not grounded per se, you’re never gonna make the right decision,” the Redditor tells We. “Always take time to get [calm] and make a decision.”
That said, some good advice came from other Redditors, too. “The best piece of advice that I got was to just let it sit and talk it out,” u/Feeling_Camp_8847 admits. “If you make a hasty or quick decision without at least seeking out the other person, you may just make things harder for yourself.”
The author is a big believer in communication and thinks couples should discuss such an important decision as a proposal extensively.
“The moment will still be important,” she tells We when we ask about how she imagines her proposal at the moment. “But the important thing to me is that for something huge like a proposal, always be communicative and always make intentions clear.”
“If you think it’s worth it, never stop trying,” the Redditor believes.
Popping the question at someone else’s wedding might be perceived as rude
It might seem like a good idea: a wedding is a celebration of love, so what better place to ask your significant other to marry than at a place celebrating love? Well, the thing is that they’re not celebrating your love.
Marriage proposal planner Marvin Velazquez of The Heart Bandits says they never recommend proposing at someone else’s wedding. “Their own relationship is not the focus at someone else’s wedding.”
“As proposal planners, we help clients make sure that their proposal is unique to them and something that the proposer’s partner would love. If it’s someone else’s wedding, then the focus is on the bride and their relationship,” Marvin explains.
He also points out that proposing at such an event puts the partner on the spot in front of others. “If the partner wants something more intimate, this would be a terrible way to propose.”
“It’s best if the proposer determines the type of proposal their partner wants and then makes it happen on their own day,” Velazquez recommends.
A proposal should be unique to the couple’s love story
There is no one right way to propose. But when you ask your partner to marry you, it should feel personal.
Even if the first proposal was unsuccessful, the proposer can rectify the situation and try again. Especially in a situation like this, where both partners love each other and want to get married.
Proposal planner Marvin Velazquez tells We that the way to recover from an unsuccessful proposal is to make the proposal something that the partner truly wants.
“For example, if the partner loves nature, the proposal can happen on a scenichike with some romantic setup ready,” he suggests.
It’s all about what the partner feels comfortable with. “The proposer would really need to learn if their person wants certain things like being the center of attention, aprivate or public proposal,something elaborate or intimate, romantic or adventurous, etc.”
To make the moment more meaningful and make their partner feel special, the proposer needs to put in some effort. A considerate proposal takes time to plan.
“You can think about their favorite colors, favorite flowers, their most enjoyable hobbies, favorite song, most meaningful memories with you, etc.,” Marvin says, listing some of the things to consider.
“With this insight, you can craft a proposal concept that would be more unique and personalized to your own relationship.A proposer can always hire a proposal planner to help come up with ideas and handle the details of the planning.”
“I just didn’t want to be proposed to at an event tailored for someone else,” the GF clarified in the comments
Most commenters sided with the girlfriend: “Proposing at someone else’s wedding is tacky and selfish”
However, a few people blamed the GF for embarrassing the guy: “Try putting yourself in his shoes”
A day later, the woman came back with an update about how the couple’s conversation went
