Motherhood is not easy, and few people would probably be foolish enough to think otherwise. But while that’s no secret, some things regarding surviving parenthood—like hacks, tips and tricks—are often kept behind closed doors.
Some women on the internet recently opened the doors wide open. After a discussion was started on Threads, they shared some of their most unhinged hacks and the most feral things they do to survive motherhood. (It’s safe to assume that for some moms, that must have felt like a breath of fresh air.) So if you’re curious to learn what their tricks are, scroll down to find their comments on the list below, but keep in mind that moms have to deal with the most demanding bosses of all time on a daily basis, so cut them some slack.
#1
Nigerian mothers had this thing they called ‘Arodan’ that was done back when children were raised by the community and things were safer. Mom sends her kid to another neighbour mom and tells her kid to ask for Arodan. Kid doesn’t know what it means but said neighbour knows it means ‘im tired and I need some time off’ and neighbour knows to keep child waiting, like ‘wait and I’ll prepare it, or go to so and SO’s mom, for it’. child is on a wild goose chase that doesn’t end until he’s tired
#2
We live in Japan and close to Ishikawa so we felt the Jan 1 2024 earthquake very strongly and the dozens of aftershocks after. To keep my son (and me) from being scared, I told him when the ground shakes, it’s Totoro jumping for joy.
#3
When my kids can’t sleep at night I tell them they can stay up as long as they help do chores. They’re usually willing to do something without fighting. They put clean laundry away, dust, clean grout (toothbrush, cup of water and baking soda), wipe cupboards, mop, tidy..they do a couple of things, then I put send them back to bed
#4
When they’re having a toddler tantrum, I would howl, which makes the dog howl, and then the kids howl. By the time it quiets down, they forget why they were upset.
#5
I created a “family reset hour” every Saturday. I told everyone: no screens, no chores, no talking to mom unless it’s an emergency. It’s for everyone’s mental health.
Reality? The kids read or play, my 13-year-old chills, and I lock myself in the bedroom with headphones, a snack stash, and an audiobook. No guilt, no pretending just boundaries disguised as self care for them. But really? It’s for me.
#6
It’s not that crazy, but taking pictures of stuff they want at the store “so that I can send them to santa” really works. They might pose with 20 different toys before we leave, but we get out without tantrums
#7
Just calling off work for the day and not telling anyone else in the household. Just letting them think I went to work and came back. When really I was eating breakfast at a diner alone, shopping, drinking tea at a tea house, taking nice long drives, listening to podcasts, etc.
#8
This was 3 months postpartum but I straight up got a hotel room. I was cracking under the pressure and I told my hubs that I just need ONE night of full sleep, good sleep, and some room service. It did me a world of good.
#9
I made our GoogleHome (like Alexa) the bad guy on schedules & chores. We all agreed at family meeting that X things/chores needed to happen every week, & scheduled them out in the app. Google calls the kids out by name & what they need to be handling & I’m no longer the recipient of their whining or things just not getting done cause I don’t have the bandwidth for pushback.
#10
I told my adolescent daughter that everything will feel better if you sit on the couch and eat some cheesecake while wearing a tiara and a prom dress. We had very few meltdowns and we still do it.
#11
Divorce their father who did nothing to help me.
#12
When my daughter was 3 months old I formed a punk band. That way I had to leave the house at least twice a week for practice, and I sure as heck couldn’t take the baby with me. Hubs had to do his share, and I got to scream my guts out.
#13
When my kids aren’t listening and I feel like I’m going to start yelling, I sing instructions at them in an opera voice instead.
#14
When I’m by myself and trying to get out of the house and the baby is begging to be held I throw cheerios onto the floor and let her crawl around to get them like a chicken
#15
Order my groceries online for pick up but not tell hubby, then tell him I’m off to do the groceries, so that buys me 2 hours to do whatever I want and just pick up the already done groceries on the way home.
#16
When I can tell my kids aren’t listening, I shift the conversation to alien abduction until they notice. Sometimes I talk about alien abduction to myself for a solid 5 minutes, but the creativity of trying to keep the same cadence of giving them directions while talking about something completely ridiculous has given my own brain moments of levity and fun when I’m otherwise exasperated.
#17
Joined a gym that had a daycare with a cheap hourly rate. The nicest staff of young girls who loved kids. Just to sit and drink coffee and read. Never worked out.
#18
One time I was in a museum with my daughter when she was maybe 4. I was super into it but she wasn’t. So to keep her occupied I told her to count all the naked butts she could see in each room. This game ended up keeping her entertained through the great museums of the world and taught her math
#19
I don’t want gifts for holidays focused on me. I want a hotel night alone in a room. That’s it. Been going strong 4 years now. Eff them flowers and chocolates. Keep your hallmark. King size me and send me room service.
#20
When the floor is covered in toys I tell my toddler I’m thinking of one toy in my head and she has to pick up all her toys and put them away and when she picks up the one I’m thinking of she wins a prize. It’s always the last toy
#21
2 things:
In the summer, I always took my kids to the evening swim (6-8) at our community pool. Before leaving, each kid takes a quick (swimsuit on) shower with shampoo. Arriving home, we’d dry off, put on PJs, have a snack, relax a bit then go to bed. They were clean (enough), tired and ready for bed.
2nd, a crying toddler will stop crying if offered a drink. You can’t cry and swallow at the same time. A little water or juice, the action of swallowing equals a calmer child.
#22
Not unhinged (at least I don’t think so), but totally works in desperate moments— I pull the dining room chairs back a bit from the table, drape blankets over the table & chairbacks, and voila: instant fort. Give them flashlights, and they’re suddenly interested in all the quiet activities — books, puzzles, and whatnot — that can be done inside.
#23
I have days where I just CANNOT hear the word mom one more time. When that happens, we start the ‘call her anything but’ game. At which point, I will respond to “Brandy” (my actual name), “bruh” or “dude” from my teen and 10 yo old, or my all time fave: “your highness”… Which my 7 yr old loves!
#24
When my kids aged into adult sized socks. I bought 50 pairs of the same socks. No more matching! Just pick 2 socks people.
#25
We have “leave me alone” nights where my kids go to their room early and aren’t allowed to leave. They get screentime, I bring them their dinner/snacks, and we all enjoy alone time that makes us excited to spend time together the next day. We spend most of our evenings hanging out so the occasional “leave me alone” night is much needed.
#26
Sometimes I give my kids a meal in the shower when I’ve had a long day, my husband is at work, and I just can’t find it in me to actually cook. We call it shower-cuterie. It’s just random finger foods that can get a little wet and still be basically fine- cheese, salamie, fruit & veggies, etc. They love it and afterwards I just scoop the pieces they dropped out and hose down the rest with the hand shower. There’s no dishes, and they end up clean too. Is this unsanitary? Probably. Do I care? No.
#27
I’m submitting not mine, but my own mother’s: when we were kids she would send us outside with buckets of water and paintbrushes and tell us to “paint” the driveway. We spent hours out there
#28
I’m not a mom, but I was a nanny and I’ve shared this with people.
You know that really fun toddler age when they still need a nap but refuse to take one? I tell them I’ll set a timer for 5-10 minutes and if it goes off and they’re still awake they don’t have to take a nap. But while the timer is going they have to lay really still with their eyes closed. I start the timer, let it run for a little bit then pause it and if they ask I tell them they still have X more minutes.
#29
Role reversal. When I’m fed up, I make my oldest “be the mom” and I act absolutely unhinged – just like her. She loves correcting me and I get to blow off some steam.
#30
Leave my kid in the tub as long as they want and just chill while they’re in there lol. I can get myself an 1-1.5hr like this. Kid has to be old enough that this is ok, and water level low enough. Keep the door open so I can hear everything. Only works if they’re able to bathe independently
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