When someone you love passes away, it can feel like there’s a hole in your heart that you just can’t seem to fill. The grief is often so heavy that people use memories, traditions, and special mementos of the deceased to help keep themselves afloat.
This is what a teen had done after his mom passed. He kept the tradition with her alive until his dad canceled the experience to save up money for his baby with his new wife. This obviously deeply hurt the boy, who couldn’t understand why his dad would do something like that.
More info: Reddit
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The poster explained that his first wife had passed away two years ago and that his son, who had been close to her, took it very hard
The teen had a tradition with his mom of visiting the British Museum and redrawing pieces from there, so after she passed, he kept visiting it yearly on his birthday
Unfortunately, the poster’s new wife didn’t enjoy the annual museum visit and told him that the money used for that could be saved up for their new baby instead
When he told his son that the museum visit was canceled, the teen got extremely upset and felt his stepmom was behind the decision
The poster shared that his first wife passed away two years back and that his teen son had been very close to her. He shares many physical similarities with his late mom and also many hobbies and interests. That’s why her death hit him very hard, and the wounds are still fresh even years later.
To understand more about this, We reached out to Susan Regan. She is a therapist and certified mediator with over 30 years of experience helping families navigate transitions and strengthen their relationships. She specializes in family mediation and co-parenting therapy, guiding parents through separation, conflict, and restructuring with clarity and compassion.
Susan shared: “I’ve been thinking a lot about family traditions—what stays, what fades, and how they often become memories tied to people we’ve lost. A friend who was dying recently passed down some of her traditions to her daughter, like always having beautiful candles on the table for guests.”
“I wondered which ones would carry on. In today’s world, where people move more often, traditions from past generations can be harder to hold onto. One of my closest friends kept wrapping and unwrapping family trinkets with each move, trying to keep her traditions alive,” she added.
That’s exactly why it was important for the young boy to keep up his tradition with his late mother. He probably felt a sense of comfort and safety in doing what they used to do together. Every year, they visited the British Museum on their birthdays, and after her passing, he kept visiting it on his birthday.
According to experts, starting new traditions or carrying forward old ones helps grieving people keep alive the memory of their loved one who has passed. The ritual doesn’t have to be big or showy, it is up to the griever to decide how they want to honor the person’s memory. So, in this case, the teen kept visiting the museum because of how much it meant to him and his mom.
Even though the OP knew how much the museum tradition meant to his son, he was willing to stop it at his new wife’s insistence. She felt that instead of wasting money on the trip, they could put it aside for their new baby. Not once did she consider how tough it would be for her stepson to deal with such a situation.
Susan explained that “in blended families, this gets more complex. When a parent remarries, they may unintentionally minimize the traditions of the previous family. If I were supporting a father and son in this situation, I’d encourage the father to reconnect with his son, perhaps acknowledge a misstep, and talk about honoring the mother’s memory and traditions as a way of keeping shared roots alive.”
She also mentioned that “teens naturally push back on parental reality as they find their own identity. That drive might make a son more protective of his mother’s memory or more aware of his father’s humanity. There’s real potential for growth on both sides. Always, it’s important to remember—parents are doing their best, and teens are shaping who they’re becoming.”
The OP clearly didn’t understand how much it would pain his son to cancel the yearly tradition. He broke the news to the boy and then was annoyed that the teen kept crying about it. The boy also felt that his stepmom was making such a decision on purpose because she already didn’t like him.
Netizens were quick to call out the man for his thoughtless behavior. They felt that he wasn’t considering the teen’s feelings and only thinking of his new baby and wife. Unfortunately, unless he makes a change, his son may end up resenting him, and their relationship will suffer.
What do you think the teen should do in a situation like this? Let us know your honest thoughts in the comments below.
People felt that the man was disregarding his son’s emotions in favor of pleasing his wife and that the boy would end up hating him in the future
