The time after a couple has just had a baby can be incredibly overwhelming. Emotions are running high, the new parents aren’t getting enough rest, and they somehow have to care for a new human. If they don’t work together, they might end up struggling even more.
This is what happened to one couple because the postpartum mom was incredibly anxious about leaving her baby with anyone else. She didn’t even want to let her husband hold the child, so he took matters into his own hands and locked himself in a room with the newborn.
More info: Reddit
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The poster explained that he hadn’t gotten many chances to hold his 2-week-old daughter because his postpartum wife reacted very intensely
The man found that no matter how much he begged, his wife was neglecting her rest and herself because she was so anxious about not being by the baby’s side
Eventually, the poster had had enough and decided to lock himself in the guest bedroom with his daughter while his wife slept, but when she woke up, she was hysterical
The woman complained to her mom about the incident, and the man’s mother-in-law shouted at him for taking his newborn away from his wife
This is a difficult situation for both the man and his wife. It’s clear that both of them are dealing with this new change in their life and also trying to figure their relationship out. The only problem the OP had was that he didn’t get enough quality time with his baby because his wife would get freaked out whenever the child wasn’t with her.
Studies have found that postpartum anxiety affects between 11-21% of new mothers. Most people only seem to know about postpartum depression, but many new moms may also struggle with intense feelings of worry, sadness, and anxiety. They may panic or feel overwhelmed more often and might not know what to do about all these emotions.
These intense feelings are caused due to the hormonal changes that happen after giving birth. These emotions are said to be temporary, but they might last for a few weeks, months, or, in some extreme cases, even years. All of this can be overwhelming for the new mother to deal with, which is why her partner needs to be understanding about the situation.
Even though the man probably knew how difficult the situation was for his wife, he really wanted to get that quality time with his baby so he decided to lock himself in a room with her while his partner slept. This decision only caused more problems because when the woman woke up and realized what had happened, she kept crying, screaming, and trying to kick down the door.
It’s clear from the woman’s behavior that her symptoms of postpartum anxiety were quite severe. That’s why it’s important for people to be there to support their partners the right way in such a difficult time. Asking family and friends to step in, taking on more tasks that are on their plate, and also suggesting professional counseling can make all the difference.
The OP only had the best intentions, which were to bond with his child and hold her without having to worry about his wife taking over. Unfortunately, his decision caused the woman even more anxiety, and her mother also berated him for separating “a newborn from her postpartum mother.”
According to research, there are incredible benefits to keeping moms and infants together post-pregnancy. Skin-to-skin contact, rooming together, and spending lots of time with each other all help with the bonding process. That’s probably why the new mom felt very anxious about letting her child out of her sight, but it’s not physically possible to be with the baby 24/7.
Even though the poster had the purest of intentions, the way he carried them out was probably not the best. Instead, he should have got the right support for his wife so that she would slowly be able to give up control and let other people help her with taking care of her newborn.
Whose side are you on in this situation? Do you think the man did the right thing? Let us know your honest thoughts in the comments below.
Some folks felt that the guy had no other option than to do what he did, but others thought that he was wrong for not getting support for his wife sooner
