Babysitting is that age-old gig that’s half childcare, half diplomacy, and always 100% chaotic. You’re negotiating naps like a UN delegate, settling snack disputes like Judge Judy, and sprinting around backyards like you’re prepping for the Olympics.
So imagine pouring your heart, soul, and stamina into six hours of childcare, only to be told your outfit was a problem. That’s the situation today’s Original Poster (OP) found herself in after a year of working for a conservative, religious family. Now, she’s left wondering whether she’s overreacting or if this is actually a case of unfair treatment.
More info: Reddit
RELATED:What’s worse than working for hours and not getting paid is probably being told the reason is because your outfit was “inappropriate”
The author had been babysitting for a conservative family for over a year
However, the last time she babysat for them, she didn’t receive payment, which led her to reach out to them
She then received a response from them stating that she would be paid short of what she normally would receive because she was dressed inappropriately in front of the kids
In an update, her mother also sent an email to the parents but never got a response which wasn’t very surprising
After the author pointed out the unfairness of not being paid, the parents expressed their disappointment and informed her they would no longer require her services
The OP had been babysitting for a particular family for over a year. Despite having different lifestyles, with her family being less religious and more relaxed, things had always gone smoothly. She loved the kids and had never had issues with the parents before. However, during one recent session, something changed.
She babysat the two kids for six hours and thirty minutes, and would normally charge $15 an hour, with a $5 bump for additional kids. That night, she expected $20/hour for two kids, which is standard for many sitters, especially those with experience. But when she followed up about her payment, the parents threw her a curveball.
The OP had started the day in a sweatshirt layered over a tank top, but the sweatshirt came off after the kids begged her to run around and play. Because of this, the parents claimed her outfit was “inappropriate” and used it as justification for not paying her full rate.
According to coach Kate London, abuse of power is more common than many realize. On her website, she explains that while using power responsibly is part of leadership, abuse happens when someone leverages their authority, whether it’s age, position, or influence, for personal gain.
She states that this can show up in obvious ways, like harassment, or in subtler forms, such as favoritism, manipulation, or withholding resources to control someone.
CHS Alliance goes further to explain that withholding resources is a common tactic used to dodge accountability. They explain that employers often do this by redirecting attention to minor or unrelated issues, creating the illusion of addressing the real problem. This often comes wrapped in the language of transparency and responsibility, but it’s a smokescreen.
Exceptional Futures also highlights that in professional environments, unintentional gaslighting can occur when someone in authority uses their status to dismiss others’ perceptions or experiences. This dynamic can be isolating and harmful, even if not deliberately manipulative.
In the context of this story, the OP questioning whether she’s “overreacting” may reflect the family’s authority causing her to second-guess what she knows is unfair.
Netizens were outraged on the OP’s behalf, agreeing that withholding pay over an outfit, especially one not inappropriate by any reasonable standard, was exploitative and unfair. They also pointed out that if the family had an issue, they should have raised it before leaving for the night, not after benefiting from almost seven hours of childcare.
What do you think about this situation? Should dress codes ever factor into payment for a job like babysitting? Or is that just an excuse to avoid paying up? We would love to hear your thoughts!
For context, she had only taken off her sweatshirt and was left wearing a tank top, so netizens maintained that the parents were being completely unreasonable
